Why Queer Prom?
By Emma (she/her) & Youth Program Participants
Prom. A cultural phenomenon that’s been captivating the minds of high school students for decades. It has been the focus of countless movies and shows. It’s the experience that supposedly wraps your high school years up in a pretty bow.
While many people, youth and adults alike, still consider attending prom to be a “right of passage” for some mysterious reason, there’s a lot to unpack about why the traditional prom is not always a welcoming space for everyone, particularly queer and trans teens.
In almost every example we see a common thread in how pop culture and communities portray who the prom experience is for: heterosexual, cisgender couples.
From the hyper-gendered king and queen competitions to requiring students to wear attire that does not align with their gender expression (some schools even require outfit pre-approval) to policies prohibiting same-sex couples (or not offering them the “couples” discount), the list of ways the traditional prom embraces exclusionary practices is, unfortunately, quite extensive.
That’s why on June 9th in Downtown Asheville, Youth OUTright is hosting a queer prom where we invite LGBTQIA+ youth ages 14-20 to join us in The Enchanted Forrest for a magical, affirming evening under the stars.
To illustrate why we consider queer youth prom a staple event for our community, we asked local youth to anonymously share their perspectives.
Why are queer proms important spaces?
“So teens can wear whatever makes them feel festive without fear of bullying. They can focus on dancing & celebrating, not on watching their backs.”
“I think queer prom is important because it’s something straight people have been able to enjoy and have access to without having to worry about their safety or if they could go with their s/o. Something as small as queer prom brings the community together and gives us the space to enjoy the little joys in life that we have the right to.”
How might a queer prom feel different than a traditional school prom?
“I think Queer Prom would feel different than a school prom because there’s not a precedent of years of it being aimed at someone else. Straight couples are the prom-goers in most movies, shows, etc… queer people may not be excluded but usually still feel like outliers. There’s always uncertainty, this anxiety, of not knowing if someone hateful will get in the way of you having a good time and being yourself… and that’s if you ARE safe enough to go be queer at a school prom in the first place. Queer Prom is special because it is a space exclusively for the group usually set apart to celebrate their differences. That’s why I’m very excited to go!”
As a queer person, what do you wish was different about your school prom?
“Photos with more than just couples together. More focus on friends than romance.”
“Comfortability.”
Why are you excited about Youth OUTright’s queer prom?
“I’m excited because my senior prom was canceled to due COVID and I missed out on that experience. My junior high school prom was magical.”
“I’m excited to go with a really close friend of mine! They’re awesome and I think it’s gonna be a stellar time dancing the night away with them. Also meeting more of the local LGBT+ community youth.”
There are many reasons we are excited to offer an affirming, safe, and celebratory space where youth feel valued for who they are and how they express themselves. Including another prohibitory element of the traditional prom we are deconstructing: the cost.
From the perfect proposal to the elegant pre-prom dinner, a quick Google search will show you that these days, young people are spending hundreds if not thousands of dollars to fulfill their idea of a memorable prom. Ranging from $50-$300, the price of a prom ticket alone is out of reach for many families.
Youth OUTright will offer queer prom tickets on a sliding scale starting at $25 with a no turn away policy. No youth will be prevented from attending queer prom because of a lack of funds.
We are also partnering with Emote, a local second-hand and queer art shop, to offer free and discounted attire for youth attending queer prom. Join us on Wednesday, May 18 from 4-6 PM to shop gender and size-inclusive outfits with all the enchanted flare you’re looking for!
We are working with Bun Intended, Thai-inspired street food, to offer scrumptious bites! Every attendee will receive a food ticket that includes a beverage and a variety of protein, vegan, and gluten-free bites ranging from salty to sweet.
If you are interested in helping us make this event possible, visit our Support Asheville’s Queer Youth Prom page to make a donation.
With the contributions of our community and local partners, we’re excited to reclaim the prom space in a way that centers queer youth joy. In the Enchanted Forrest, there are no rules for how you bloom!
